Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize