Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
