we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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