I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
