So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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