Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
