He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize