I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
