i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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