U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
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