It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize