your parents love me but you hate me
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
