dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
