Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize