I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
