Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
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