when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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