Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
We are all done wearing pants today
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
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