Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
