Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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