I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize