Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
