Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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