porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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