I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I feel like death gave me a hand job
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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