sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
