I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
