is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
