I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
