he thought i was a dude.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
