Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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