You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
