this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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