only if we run a train.
done.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
