I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
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