Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
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