i just had sex bonerless
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
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