I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize