apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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