ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
