And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
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