You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize