guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
