Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
