alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
