Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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