i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
