Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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