How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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