Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
