I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
