i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
