I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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