I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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