Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
