I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
