Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
