I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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