Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
