i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
