What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
