Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
