I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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