Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
So squirting runs in the family.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Someone signed my nipple.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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