He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I could fuck to npr.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
