he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
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