shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize