Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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