so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
