I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
