Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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