My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
