I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Couch. On fire.
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