Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I have already put on my inside pants.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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