I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
this will be a night to untag.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
