Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I am naked and annoyed.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
