I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
