Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
