oh god the rape fog is back!
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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