yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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